2.6 Effective Interpersonal Communication

Jordan Smith (2025) summarizes a TEDtalk, 10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation by Celeste Headlee (2016) and offers us concrete ways to promote effective interpersonal communication.

• Be Present: Devote your undivided attention to the person you are speaking with and do not multitask. You won’t have to pretend to pay attention by nodding and making eye contact if you’re doing that anyway.
• Be prepared to learn: A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue where you simply unload your opinion on someone and receive nothing in return except for the satisfaction of dominating them.
• Ask open-ended questions: When you want your conversation partner to answer on their own terms ask “what” and “how” questions such as “How did the meeting go?” “What was the meeting about?” When seeking short answers ask specific questions such as “Was that a good meeting?” You will get a shorter answer such as “yes” or “no.” Try to ask a “what” and “how” questions “How did the meeting go?” “What was the meeting about?”
• Listen without interruption: Respond to your conversation partner’s main points rather than to some digressive story you were reminded of by one of their minor points. When you respond in that way, it reveals that you haven’t been listening past the part that inspired the barely relevant thing you feel contributes to the conversation, though it really does not move the conversation along so much as derail it.
• Honor the uniqueness of their experience: When the speaker relates something that happened to them, resist the urge to make it about you by equating their experience with yours. If they are talking about grieving a death in the family, for instance, don’t dishonor that information share by responding with how you felt when your dog died. It is not the same.
• Stay out of the weeds: Rather than struggle to offer up all the details (the names, places, dates, etc.) and digress on minutiae, focus on your main points.
• Listen: A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue, and therefore requires that you actively pay attention to what the speaker says to understand it rather than to merely reply to it
• Be brief: People are busy, so if your conversation detains them for longer than they have time for, you will stretch their patience. Pay attention to the other parties’ nonverbal communication. If they are starting to step away, look away, or nod fast, this may indicate that they are done with the conversation.
• Ensure you pronounce someone’s name correctly: Some take offense at their name being mispronounced, and especially with their name being confused with a different but similar name. If someone’s name looks unpronounceable on paper, simply asking them how they prefer their name to be pronounced is better than confidently mispronouncing it.

This section is adapted from Verbal Communication and Conversation in Communication at Work – Simple Book Publishing (2nd ed.) Copyright © 2025 by Jordan Smith licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License, except where otherwise noted.