7.2 Precise Language Considerations
Effective organization and style are critical in requests for action that contain detailed instructions. Whether you’re explaining how to operate equipment, apply for funding, renew a membership, or submit a payment, the recipient’s success depends on the quality of the instruction. Vagueness and a lack of detail can result in confusion, mistakes, and requests for clarification. Too much detail can result in frustration, skimming, and possibly missing key information. Profiling the audience and gauging their level of knowledge is key to providing the appropriate level of detail for the desired results. See examples below for ways to use precise in place of vague language.
Examples
Precise Use of Language
| Vague | Precise |
|---|---|
| many, a lot | ten, sixteen, one thousand, etc. |
| cool (referring to temperature) | 50 degrees Fahrenheit, 35 degrees Celsius, etc. |
| most | 90%, 94%, etc. |
| later / very soon | 4:00 p.m., 10:00 p.m., etc. / in ten minutes, tomorrow morning at 8:00 a.m., etc. |
| staff | supervisors, accountants, Nurse Practitioners, etc. |
| We are making good progress on the project. | In the two weeks since inception, our four-member team has achieved three of the six objectives we identified for project completion; we are on track to complete the project in another four weeks, by Friday, November 19. |
| For the same amount spent, we expected more value added. | We examined several proposals in the $10,000 range, and they all offer more features than what we see in the $12,500 system ABC Corp. is offering. |
| Officers were called to the scene. | Responding to a 911 call, State Police Officers Arellano and Chavez sped to the intersection of County Route 53 and State Highway 21. |
| Several different colors are available. | The silk jacquard fabric is available in ivory, moss, cinnamon, and topaz. |
| This smartphone has more applications than customers can imagine. | At last count, the Apple iPhone had more than 500 applications, many costing 99 cents or less; users can get real-time sports scores, upload videos, browse commuter train schedules, edit e-mails, and find recipes—but so far, it doesn’t do the cooking for you. |
This section is adapted from Concrete, Precise, Specific Language in Communication for Professionals | Simple Book Publishing by Susan Oaks licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommericial 4.0 International License, except where otherwise noted.
